


Nothing Left To Say

by Rollinginthesheep



Series: We Will Never Be [5]
Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: F/M, a heap of mentioned pairings if you squint haha, more angsty louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:32:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollinginthesheep/pseuds/Rollinginthesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which louis realizes that no matter how many times the story plays out, <br/>not everyone will get a happy ending. </p><p>
  <b>SEQUEL TO LOST CAUSE</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Left To Say

**Author's Note:**

> 'Below my soul I feel an engine  
> Collapsing as it sees the pain  
> If I could only shut it out  
> I've come too far  
> To see the end now'  
>  **Nothing Left To Say - Imagine Dragons**

Sometimes it’s better to walk away even when the wreckage will continue to burn behind you. Because sometimes, you never had a chance of putting out the flames you lit with foolish intentions and forbidden moments. I used to believe that every problem in life had an answer, whether it be with apologies or even good deeds. But can people really enact guilt and redemption when the person they’ve become is nothing more than a liar who lives in shades of grey in a black and white world?

 

 

_No._

 

 

Because sometimes we want to fix things for simple selfishness. We want to make ourselves feel a little less hollow inside to keep the darkness that comes from guilt at bay. Or sometimes, we like to believe that maybe, _just maybe,_ if we were to fix the bridges we burned, we’d be able to be the person we used to be.

 

 

But life doesn’t work like that. Existence isn’t a circle that we travel on rotation. No two days are ever truly the same, because we are conceptually older than we were the day before. Another day, another person. And I found myself disliking the very person I’d forged myself to be as each of these days passed.

 

 

There was no extinguishing this wreckage, there was only pain as I stood and watched the flames consume everything I held dear.

 

 

\--

 

 

“-Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” A round of applause sounded as Liam finished his speech with a somewhat predicable conclusion by quoting a famous Corinthians reading. I merely smiled despite the acid that I tasted on my tongue from how the words settled in my mind, echoing in my ears. _Does love really not delight in evil? No it shouldn’t but it does._ I shook my thoughts away, trying to stop my consciousness from straying to a forbidden corner of my mind. It was foolish to let my thoughts mull over such things in the current setting.

 

 

“A toast to Zayn Malik and Perrie Malik-Edwards.” Liam announced and I flinched at the sound of Perrie’s last name intertwining with Zayn’s. The feeling of nausea rose tenfold when the names were murmured by the occupants of the reception venue a second later. I drank more than a mere polite sip, needing to feel the burn of alcohol down my throat and in my veins. I wanted the world to spin, to come out of focus so I didn’t have to be aware of my surroundings.

 

 

The ballroom became noisy once more, as everyone fell back into their previous conversations that had been interrupted by Liam’s best man speech. I bit the inside of my cheek and set down my champagne flute.

 

 

“Are you okay Lou?” Eleanor asked her tone soft. I forced my gaze onto the brown eyed figure of my girlfriend, who regarded me with ill-veiled concern. I nodded in a jerked movement.

 

 

“Yes, just wondering when the groom and bride were going to speak.” I lied, trying to reason my concentrative look at the end of Liam’s speech. Eleanor seemingly accepted my response and shrugged.

 

 

“I think they were going to do wedding party photographs first.” She said glancing around the room for some evidence to her theory. Sure enough, a photographer I vaguely recognised was edging Zayn, Perrie, Liam and a few others away from the main reception area. “I guess we have a free twenty minutes then. We know how picky Max is with his photos.” Eleanor added causing me to remember where I’d seen the man before. He’d taken photos for us during the time we’d been on tour a couple of years ago.

 

 

“Good point.” I managed, not wanting to cringe at the idea of Zayn and Perrie posing like a typical newlywed couple and the fact I’d probably see the very same photos everywhere for the next few years. “I’m going to get another drink.” I announced and rose from my satin clothed seat. Eleanor frowned a little at this.

 

 

“I meant we could dance…”She mumbled and I pretended not to hear her, walking away from the table we’d been sitting at when Katherine, Perrie’s maid of honor and Liam, had done their respective speeches. The bar was reasonably free as most of the partygoers were either on the dance floor or picking at the desserts supplied on the tables.

 

 

I had to give it to the happy couple; they sure knew how to pull together a wedding. I remembered so often having to sit there as Zayn rambled on about whatever aspect Perrie was making him help her with that week. However I also knew that Perrie’s mother had done a lot of the more technical aspects of organizing the wedding as both of the nuptials were touring the world for most of the lead-up.

 

 

I grabbed two of the supplied glasses full of champagne and made my way toward a sole figure seated at a table nearby. Leigh-Anne Pinnock looked thoughtful, far more solemn than usual. Perrie’s bandmate was usually the life of the party and the fact she was sitting alone at her friend’s wedding was rather odd. I figured I rather enjoy the company of someone who looked as equally exhausted with the whole affair as I was. I could spy out of the corner of my eye Harry pulling a laughing Eleanor out onto the dance floor and I was thankful for this as it meant I didn’t have to play the part of diligent boyfriend for a little while.

 

 

I hadn’t been doing too well at that role tonight anyway.

 

 

The tanned girl looked up at my approach and I was unsure of what to make of the expression that flickered on her angular features. However it seemed the moment it appeared it was gone again, her expression turning somewhat apathetic as she regarded me.

 

 

“Hello Louis.” She greeted softly, tilting her half consumed glass of champagne in my direction. I pulled out the chair beside her and sunk down, setting my drinks down in front of me.

 

 

“Where’s Jordan?” I asked, only just registering the absence of Leigh-Anne’s boyfriend. She smiled half-heartedly.

 

 

“He couldn’t come today, his mother is sick.” She explained. “Where’s Eleanor?” She queried after a momentary pause.

 

 

I glanced toward the dance floor and spotted Harry and Eleanor dancing amongst the couples and family members, the dark haired duo caught up in their own little world. I tried to work up the irritation at seeing my mate hold my girlfriend so close and stare at her in what I knew was his _‘I fancy this girl’_ gaze, but I couldn’t. The acid bubbling in my stomach was reserved only for the couple who’d left the room a few minutes before. I wouldn’t have the right to be angry anyway, as I knew very well how little control one felt when they were infatuated by their friend’s partner.

 

 

Leigh followed my gaze and watched Harry and Eleanor dance for a moment, her expression still maddeningly thoughtful. She was being abnormally silent and it was somewhat worrying as Leigh usually had about a thousand thoughts per minute rushing through her head.

 

 

“She looks happy.” She commented as she took a sip of her own drink. She fell silent for a moment before she turned her attention back to me. “…You don’t.” She concluded and I flinched at the perceptiveness of her statement. Not even Eleanor had been able to tell I was unhappy with today’s event.

 

 

“I’m tired.” I responded automatically, needing a valid reason to be so downtrodden at my own friend’s wedding. _I’m meant to be happy for them._ Leigh Anne clearly didn’t believe me. She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes almost sparkling with an empathy that made no sense. She couldn’t know the true reason for my mood…could she?

 

 

“Cut the bullshit Louis.” She muttered back and I almost had to strain my ears to hear her. I was surprised by the acid that leaked into her tone as she spoke, dark eyes trained on me. “I know the truth. I heard the message you left her at Zayn’s bachelor party.”

 

 

My stomach dropped. I’d foolishly hoped that in my drunken state I hadn’t even dialled and left that message. Perrie hadn’t shown any indication she’d heard the message so I assumed that she hadn’t. I hadn’t even contemplated the notion that someone else had.

 

 

“H-how?” I was staring at Leigh Anne with wide blue eyes. I couldn’t help but be stunned by the revelation. I could feel my heart rate accelerate and my palms begin to sweat. The knowledge that she had could ruin lives. More specifically, _my life._

 

 

Leigh Anne shook her head. “I was with Perrie when she checked her messages.” The notion that Perrie had heard the message too made me sick. It meant that she knew how I felt and had made no effort to approach me on the subject. Even alongside the fact she was now married to Zayn, this confirmed in stone the fact she didn’t feel the same way. It was like a stab to the chest.

 

 

I tore my gaze away from Leigh Anne, unable to handle her seeing me in such a vulnerable state, no matter how public the setting. I didn’t realize my hands were shaking until someone’s cool hand settled upon the one I’d had upon the table top. I reluctantly turned my attention back to Leigh Anne, who offered me a sympathetic look as she squeezed my hand. Her soft hands were somewhat soothing despite my pain.

 

 

“Look Louis, I can’t give you the Disney like speech.” Leigh Anne took in a deep breath as she prepared herself to continue. “I can’t give you hope that she’ll magically one day change her mind and you’ll have the cliché happy ending the underdog gets. She loves Zayn and he loves her more than anything in the world. Sometimes that’s just the way it is. It sucks horribly. The only advice I can give you is, to let Eleanor have a chance to find someone who’ll love her the way you love Perrie.”

 

 

I merely stared silently at Leigh Anne as her words sunk in. I hated to admit how right she was, that it wasn’t fair of me to expect Perrie to one day change her mind, or to string along Eleanor when my feelings had changed. I owed her more than that.

 

 

Leigh Anne didn’t bother to wait around for a response, merely squeezing my hand one more time before rising from the table and walking toward Jade and one of Perrie’s cousins. I watched her leave unable to stop the echo of her words in my head. When Leigh Anne and Jade disappeared from eyeshot, I turned my attentions to Eleanor.

 

 

I watched her and Harry dance, smiles upon their faces. I could spy Ed and Taylor dancing a short distance away, the latter looking just as downtrodden as me when she noticed the brunette pair dancing nearby. I clearly wasn’t the only one who’d noticed that things weren’t quite platonic between them. Taylor’s eyes slid off the pair and she looked around the room, looking for someone. A moment later her blue eyes met mine. I merely tipped my glass to her, acknowledging we both knew the truth. Harry loved Eleanor, and Taylor stilled loved Harry whilst I pinned restlessly over Perrie.

 

 

It was clear in all off this that there was only one story that could possibly have a mutually happy ending. It was in that moment I knew, I’d have to let Eleanor go and give her the chance to have that happy ending. _Especially since mine didn’t exist._

 

 


End file.
